What is a Man???

            There are many textbook definitions that may differ slightly from societal definitions. These may include the definitions of family, friendship, relationship, mother, father, etc. The meanings of these words are usually a personal perception that each of us forms through our own experiences, and the textbook definition is a little too vague leaving us needing more. The Encarta World Dictionary definition of a man is an adult male human being. Does this fully encompass what a man is or should be? Not for me!

            At 18 we, as human males, technically become a man, but I know plenty of 18 yr. olds who are failing to fulfill their roles as a man. And not to pick on 18 yr. olds because there are plenty of 25, 30, 35 yr. olds who are behaving the same. It is a pitiful definition of what most of society considers to be a man. It is even beyond pitiful the expectations that most men place upon themselves to be considered a man.

            What constitutes a man? Is it his masculinity, his machismo, his charisma? Or is it the way he carries himself, the way he handles his responsibilities, the way he gives of himself to those he loves?

            A man, to me, is someone who stands on his own two feet first. He does this so that he may provide, care for, and love those who love care for, and depend on him. Whether this be financial support, emotional support, moral support, or just plain being there. It’s that look of awe and wonder and respect shining from a child’s eyes. Forget Superman or Batman my Daddy can do anything! It’s being that role model and pillar of strength and stability that others may turn to. It’s being a man.

            “MMM… Baby you are filling out that dress in all the right places! Can I get your number?” I watch guys on a daily basis disrespect women and this is supposedly flirtation. I wouldn’t want you to speak to my mother, my sister, my aunt, my wife, or my friend this way. Yet this is manly? Also, I know plenty of big, strong macho men who feel they are taking care of their responsibilities because they left their child and his or her mother with some money on the streets. Yet, you are now disciplining your child through the Department of Corrections telephone. Paying bills, paying child support does not fulfill a man’s role of being a father or a husband.

            This is not an easy task! The bar of expectations should be set high for a man. If we shoot for the stars and only make it to the clouds, that’s better than being stuck in the mud. First, though, there must be some expectations set. There is so much more to being a man than just qualifying as an adult male human being. Be that man that other men around you strive to be. Be that father, that husband, that brother, that uncle, that nephew, that son, that friend, that man that you should be.